[When watching Gin Tama, please keep the lights on and don't sit too close to the TV!]
[He lost his head once and followed his bliss. Then he was fired and his wife ran out on him.]
[Dumb Old Retarded Kook Hasegawa. Another day of sunbathing at the park.]
[Oedo Children's Park]
Hey, Pops!
What, little Odd Jobs girl?
Why are you always here in the middle of the day?
Well...
Because I was fired from work.
Why were you fired?
Well... Because...
It's because I lost my head once and just followed my bliss.
A young girl like you should always think about the consequences of your actions.
Life is long, you know.
I don't want to hear that from a loser like you.
See ya, you Dumb Old Retarded Kook! Or "DORK" for short!
Let's go, Sadaharu.
Well...Kids these days are really...
Huh? How strange... Everything got misty and I can't see.
["If You Stop and Think About It, Your Life's a Lot Longer as an Old Guy than a Kid! Whoa, Scary!"]
See ya, you Dumb Old Retarded Kook! Or "DORK" for short!
"DORK"... that name fits me well.
To think until just a little while ago I was on the path to great success.
If only I hadn't made that one error...
The next day, I was summoned by my boss.
Cut your guts out.
Seriously?!
He ordered me to commit seppuku.
I got scared, so I was going skip town...
But my wife left me first.
I can't stand by a DORKH (Dumb Old Retarded Kook Husband) like you anymore. Hatsu.
I lost everything. The only thing I had left were these black sunglasses.
Well...I lost everything, but I gained something else in return.
Yo!
Back again, huh? Well, have you racked up the pachinko balls today?
A strange guy I've fallen in with.
By the way,
a guy your age, killing time at this place every day...
It's sad to say, but you're like one of those vegetables that stick to the lid of the cup of chow mein.
What about you?
Why is a young guy like you always coming here during the day?
When your blood sugar level drops, you don't know what to do.
So, when that happens, watching small balls popping around like this makes me feel better.
It's said that birds of a feather...
I felt that he was a fellow human being... It's like...he didn't have any guarantee of living and...
Oh! I feel like I'll win today.
Oh? You're leaving already?
Actually, I'm going to a job interview.
Oh? I didn't know you were making a serious effort.
Kind of. See ya.
Oh? Is my luck already over?
That's right. I need something new, anyway.
I know I'm a DORK, but I should at least become a better man.
[Shuei Commercial Company] [Mid-Career Employment Opportunities] [Interview site]
Um...
Hey! Stop surprising me, Pops!
Well...You surprised me.
Um... You need a light?
Ah... Thanks.
I'm really wound up.
It's upside down. You're too nervous!
Sorry, sorry. This is the first time I've been to a place like this.
Huh?
My woman has been providing for me... But now she's pregnant...
...and pretty soon...she's going to have a baby.
So, I thought I should become a real man.
And I should get...a real job!
H-Hey! It's burning! It's burning!
Oh, yeah! A flame of responsibility is flaring up deep in my heart!
No, no! Your head is burning!
Oh, my god!
What should I do? Water! Water! Water!
Shoji Endo-san, it's time for your interview.
Is that fireworks?!
My wife is taking care of the housework! From now on, I'll earn money for my family!
Not that kind of works!
H-Hey!
Compared to him, my responsibilities, as a DORK, are so small.
I'm Taizo Hasegawa. It's good to meet you.
...Senpai...?
Oh?
Hasegawa Senpai, is that you?!
You...quit the Department of Immigration Control?
I'm Onishi!
Oh, my! I never thought I'd see you in a place like this! What are you doing here?
I've had a lot of problems.
But I'm glad to know you're working for this company.
I wonder if you can put in a good word for me with your boss for old time's sake.
Are you kidding?!
Um...Oh? Onishi-kun?
You, Hasegawa!
Thanks for everything you did for me while I was working at the Department of Immigration Control!
Well, I didn't have any choice, at the time, because of my boss.
Shut up! If you want to work here, get on your knees and shave off that goatee, baldy!
My goatee?
No complaining! And take off those sunglasses!
No, please...my sunglasses...
You don't have a job, but you do have some hang-ups, huh?!
You know what, you're a Dumb Old Retarded Kooky Geek, a DORKG!
Anyway, everything has been going wrong since then.
Can you do something about your hairstyle and sunglasses?
They make you look like a DORK! A Drowsy Old Retarded Kook.
Your bad breath and sunglasses are a problem. You're a...
DORK, a Degraded Old Retarded Kook.
No matter where I go, I'm called DORK.
Hey, Master! This soup and fried tofu tastes really awful!
In short, it's DORKS! A Disgusting Overcooked Rotten Kefir flavored Stock.
Shut up!
What's wrong with being a DORK?!
There's nothing like sake to help me relax.
You know, I'm having chest pains around here these days...
I wonder if this is a love sickness.
You should go see a doctor, Mu-san.
Get home safely.
Oh, welcome.
Hey, you! I'm closing.
Huh? Can't you let me stay a bit longer for another cup of sake?
I'm trying to get rid of harsh realities, that weigh heavily on my stomach, with sake.
Well, I hope you don't throw up the food you just ate,
which weighs heavy on your stomach, on the bar counter.
Hey, take off your sunglasses and wake up.
Leave me alone. I'm fine.
What are you talking about?
You're a Drunk Old Recovering Knocked Down Customer.
...in short, a DORKC.
Keh. Whatever... DORKC... What the hell?!
Hey, brother! I have the perfect bar for you.
Well, why not?
[Snack SMILE]
Nice to meet you. I'm Otae.
This looks like a really expensive place. But I don't have much money.
Is that so? I understand.
Excuse me! One Dom Pérignon!
She didn't get it! This lady doesn't understand Japanese!
Is this the International Pub?
Sir...
Your watch, ring and sunglasses look expensive, so why don't you sell them?
No, not my sunglasses! Is this a highway robbery pub?
You're still being stubborn.
You're a Diehard Older Rigid Kind of Man. In short, a DORKM, sir.
Hold on!
Are you trying to say, if I weren't so stubborn,
I would become a Desirable Older Respectful Kind-hearted Man? A DORKM?!
What would you like to order, sir?
One Dom Péri, please.
Thank you very much!
Man, it's almost dawn.
Hey, you...wait a minute.
What? Why would a monk need me?
I'm not a monk.
I'm Katsura.
I know this is sudden, but...
Are you interested in taking up a sword and venturing out for the dawning of Japan?
What are you trying to say this early in the morning?
Katsura! Be prepared to lose today!
Tsk! The Shinsengumi!
Let's retreat for now.
Hey! What's going on, brother?
I'm not your brother! I'm Katsura!
All right. I know, already!
The game is about over, bomber!
Whatever.
Come on! Why don't you confess?!
I already said that I have nothing to do with it.
I understand. So just tell us where Katsura is hiding.
You really don't understand what I said!
You know, you don't have any identification and you keep insisting that you're not involved.
Because of that, we can't help but suspect you.
I'm telling you, I'm Hasegawa, and I used to work at the Department of Immigration Control.
You'd know if you checked!
If you are going to lie, at least make it believable.
No, it's true, already!
Then we'll strip you and check!
Take off your sunglasses. Your sunglasses!
Hold on a minute! Not my sunglasses!
Hopefully not my clothes, either! Believe me, I used to work at the Department of Immigration Control!
You know, you're a Deceiving Overprotected Red-handed Kook, in short, DORK.
Take your clothes off, now!
[Investigation room]
After all, I'm a DORK no matter where I go.
No, not those!
Give up, old man!
Don't come back!
I guess we got up early this morning for nothing.
So true.
The only thing I had left were these sunglasses.
Hey! You'd better listen to me!
Hey, what are you doing here?
I see. Your interview didn't go well again.
Right, they totally shot me down.
In fact, I was tangled up with so many strange guys...
Every one of them called me a DORK and wanted me to take off my sunglasses.
These sunglasses are a part of my face. There's no way I can take them off.
Dumbass! Stop blaming everything on your sunglasses!
Do you blame a rock when you trip over it? Does it change anything?
Well, all you need to do is take off your sunglasses.
Heh... You're saying it's because of my sunglasses that I can't change myself?
You think I can change myself at this age?
That's enough. Sit down.
Hey, Master. Give him something that reminds him of his mother's cooking.
Now how the hell do I do that?
[Oden]
Speaking of his mother's cooking, there's nothing better than Digestive Biscuits!
What kind of mother are you talking about?!
Hasegawa-san, It's okay to have a code of honor...and live by it...
But if you can't get anywhere because of it,
it might not be a bad idea to reverse course.
Why not break all the rules?
Along the way, there'll come a point when you finally find something that matters to you
more than your code, right?
After that, you can wear your sunglasses as much as you want.
And I...
I'm Taizo Hasegawa. Nice to meet you.
I've finally taken off my sunglasses.
What kind of work did you do before, Hasegawa-san?
I was fighting against evil aliens to save Earth.
You're so funny.
We'll hire you.
I didn't realize that just taking off my sunglasses could make this much difference in my life.
I hate doing what young people tell me to, but now I think it has nothing to do with age.
Even people who haven't lived as long as me know more about life.
Sir, where to?
Don't call him sir! Call him President!
Huh?
Cut it out, guys! Sorry, Driver. Please take us to the Cultural Center.
All right, President.
Hurry up! Otsu-chan's live show is about to start!
All right, President.
I'm not a President! I'm a sergeant!
Through my work as a driver...I realize how great it is to have a destination.
The "Back From the Dead" salon.
I had so many customers. And everyone had a clear vision.
To the hospital.
To Kabukicho.
My life has sure changed... But I no longer have a destination.
Drive until I see the dawn of a new Japan.
You see the skuzzy-looking guy smoking over there? Run him over, but try not to kill him.
What should an old fellow like me do?
I wonder where I should go?
I feel like a child who has no destination.
I'm... I'm... I'm...!
I don't care where, but take me someplace.
Then I found someone who is a lost child like me.
I have nothing to do. Take me around anywhere for free.
Are you kidding me?! I'm on the job.
It's okay. I just want to see the other side of the horizon.
Who do you think you are...my girlfriend?!
How's your job?
It was fine until you got in.
You looked like a dead man when I saw you the other day, but you look better now.
Whatever. Nothing has changed.
I changed my job, but I still don't have a purpose.
I don't have a clear vision for my future.
I guess everyone is in the same boat.
If you keep seeking it, you'll find it eventually.
I don't think so.
Because, in this show, you and I are the only ones with cloudy looking eyes.
Oh, here comes a customer. Get out of my car, jackass!
Why is he here?! What is he doing here?!
Start the car now! I don't want to get in trouble!
Take me to Ueno Zoo. And make it snappy, please.
Oh? Haven't I seen you two somewhere before?
I don't know. Who are you?
You have something nasty on your head.
Earthlings, um, all look like they've been sucking on lemons.
Oh I see. Fair enough.
So, Hasegawa-san, I have to go to abacus class now. Have a nice day!
Wait!
Don't leave me alone! I'm begging you!
Don't leave this old fellow all alone! I'm old! If I get too lonely I'll die!
What are you... a hamster or something?!
Hey, start the car!
Y-Yes. I'm sorry.
Luckily, it appears he doesn't remember me.
Let's take him there quickly and leave before he does remember. Then we'll be safe.
Then release me now.
No, sir, uh-huh! Me scared...and lonely!
Why are you speaking like a foreigner now?!
I can't believe he had his driver's license suspended.
Why do I, a prince, have to take a dirty taxi?
Hey, silver-haired man! If you have nothing to do, give me some service.
Well... I said service, but why are you washing my hair?
Mr. President, what brought you to Earth?
I'm not a president. What are you talking about?!
You know, I just wanted to see a panda all of a sudden. Ow! Ow!
I've got shampoo in my eyes! You did that on purpose, didn't you?!
I see... You've come to see a panda, Mr. President.
But don't be fooled.
It's said that they eat only bamboo, but we never know what they really eat.
They may even eat Shabu-Shabu.
I-I-I-I-Idiot! Are you trying to get yourself killed?! What were you thinking?!
I saw you at my job interview.
Oh, Pops! This is an emergency. Please give us a ride!
Ugh! I can't breathe! Stop!
Sachiko... my Sachiko has suddenly gone into labor!
My goodness! My charm point has been pulled off!
Oops! Because the car stopped suddenly, it accidentally fell off.
What are you going to do about this?!
Without this, I look like a human. Like an assistant manager!
Don't worry. You look at least manager level.
That's not my point!
You know what? It fell off so easily, so it must mean you don't need it.
Hey, you two!
There's a woman who's gone into labor!
Gin-san, is there a maternity clinic nearby?
Nope. You'll have to turn back.
Tsk. Then we should go back.
Are you kidding?!
I lose my charm point and now I have to go back? Give me a break!
All right, the least you can do is take me to the damn panda!
Now get moving!
Can't you direct a tiny fraction of your love for pandas towards human beings?
A human baby-that's real cute, too, you know.
Who cares? Who gets cuddly feelings about uppity, hairless monkeys?!
I really don't care what happens to one or two human babies!
Who do you think I am?! I'm... I'm...
Who are you?! You're just some assistant manager, right?
Cut it out. What do you think you're doing to the Prince?
I understand, Prince.
You'll be happy if you see a panda, right?
I just remembered there's a panda nearby, actually.
What? Really? Where?
Just look at your face in the mirror tomorrow!
Hey, you hoodlum couple! My cab's suddenly empty. You need a ride?
Pops! I owe you one!
Hasegawa-san, just as I thought...
...you look much better with your sunglasses on.
I know that.
[Oedo Children's Park]
Hey, old man!
I haven't seen you in a while. Why did you come back here?
Because I was fired again.
Why were you fired?
Oh? Because...
I was true to myself.
But I'm not really disappointed.
I may be a hard case, but I am what I am. I've decided to live my life the way I want.
Don't go thinking you're cool just because you call yourself a "Hard Case," you jobless loser!
Let's go, Sadaharu.
See ya Delusional Old Reality-ignoring Knocklehead. Or "DORK" for short.
I'm starting to feel dissatisfied again.
[Preview]
Takasugi, what are you doing here?
I heard there was a festival. So I had to come.
Don't tell me... You bastard...
The next episode:
"Sons Only Take After Their Fathers' Negative Attributes."
["Gengai Hiraga" Brilliant inventor in Edo. His robots are going to perform at the country opening festival.]
[Karakuri Robot "Saburo" playing house with Kagura?]
Get him!
Oh!